Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Giggle Revolution

There seems to be an awful lot of laughing taking place nowadays…..you can't go two sentences without someone replying with an "lol" in a text message or iChat. Then there's always the "lmao" and the really intense "LMFAO". Every time I see that, I think to myself that I must be some comedian to have gotten that response out of Cindy - she's usually such a soul-less sub-human.

I'm still trying to figure out what is so funny about the statement, "well you never know, maybe you did better than you think" - am I missing something here? Or how about this exchange: "Hey, I hear it might rain on Saturday…guess we'll have to reschedule" / "I know, that sucks….oh well, lol". Are you nervous or something? What the fuck are you laughing at?

Have you ever told someone you thought their tire might be flat, and they responded with "lol…are you serious"? And you're sitting there asking yourself, is this asshole being condescending with me….what, I don't know enough about automobiles to discern a flat? And so you reply with, "no, I was just messing with you…it's all good….lol…let me know how the skiing trip goes…see you when you get back".

Not to mention that "lol" is blatantly self-evident….you mean you're laughing out loud? Like, generating actual sound waves with your laughter? Holy shit Bob, that's some pretty serious laughter right there, maybe you should take it easy…you don't want your diabetes acting up. Is there an inward non-sound-wave-generating laughing technique that I simply have yet to be initiated in?

And while we're on the subject, why is it always laughter? What about a giggle? It only seems to be either full on laughter, or complete seriousness, apparently. Are people so bipolar that they never just giggle anymore? Well I giggle….and frankly it takes a lot for me to break out into laughter. Unless your parrot escaped from it's cage and took a shit on your iPod, a giggle is probably the best you can hope for from me.

But of course, how does one convey a giggle? Perhaps I should come up with a hip way to communicate this - "gol" is pretty lame (and equally self-evident) and "gig" is just a little too creepy for my taste. On second thought, why should a word or phrase require a cool concise abbreviation? Are we really this lazy that we can't afford the time it takes to write "talk to you later"? Oh but I know, you're so busy - there's just not enough time to write out everything and still get done all the things that require your attention on this complicated day. Well guess what, you're not that fucking busy and you're not that important either.

Let it be known that I will not uphold the impatience or the spelling of a 2nd grade student….if I'm giggling, I'm going to write "giggling", and if it's an intense giggle, expect to see "uncontrollable giggling taking place right now" - and if you're really lucky, maybe even "giggling my motherfucking ass off and still giggling…..lol"


  1. This is why I go with Demetri Martin's suggestion of using LQTM = laughing quietly to myself

  2. I had wondered about that, seems really an inadequite response. Especially when you are face to face with someone and they actually say "lol" without really laughing. Smirking, maybe, but not laughing. I did come up with LOTIS once, but stopped using it. It's for "laughing on the inside." My room mate was sleeping and I didn't want to wake her up with true guffawing.