MMA - Let's Stick To The Fighting

There is a growing trend among mixed martial arts fighters to talk shit in the weeks leading up to a fight. Viewers are led to believe that there is "bad blood" or that the fight is a "grudge match" or that it's a "rivalry years in the making" or whatever other dumb group of words they string together. In the same way that most pre-fight speeches are broken records that routinely reference "breaking the will of my opponent" and philosophically deep comments like "he better come to fight", this "personal" shit-talking is now so common place that fans essentially expect to see it before every fight. I'm not quite sure how everyone came to this conclusion that fans are more interested in fights in which the fighters hate each other, but it couldn't be further from the truth, at least for me. I would have bought last Saturday's pay-per-view event featuring GSP vs Koscheck regardless if there was "bad blood" or not. I'm drawn by the skill and talent of those two fighters - not their personal opinions of each other.

I will certainly grant that the presence of a genuine mutual dislike, or any emotional feelings that influence a fighter's psychology, can be interesting to the degree that it affects the fighter's motivation, performance, or training. But notice I said genuine. This is what is lacking in too many marketing campaigns for UFC - sincerity. Just look at every time two fighters that supposedly "hated" each other embrace in the ring afterwards and magically the "beef got squashed"….this happens repeatedly. Sure, sure, you're going to tell me that now having fought each other, they respect each other…..right, well the problem with this theory is that those same fighters often tell us that they were just trying to hype up the fight. Well that's nice, but here's the deal:

A) "Bad blood" is not what makes me watch a fight….if I was interested in the emotional dynamics between two individuals I would watch Dr. Phil.

B) If you're talking shit because you think it sells more tickets and pay-per-view buys, I'd like to see the research that supports such a theory - yes, people tend to be interested in any sort of conflict or argument, thus the unfortunate success of most "reality" television, but mixed martial arts contains actual physical violence - doesn't that render the "war of words" superfluous and irrelevant?

C) Even if there is a solid PR justification for concocting the appearance of "bad blood", how could it possibly be effective over a long period of time when the fighters that supposedly hated each other come right out and say they were just trying to hype the fight? Am I really the only fan irritated by this deception?

In point of fact, this trend does a major disservice to the UFC and MMA overall, whose entire appeal rests on the reality of the sport, but whose marketing is starting to come dangerously close to that of professional wrestling organizations like the WWE (or WWF when I was growing up). If I want to watch actors, I'm going to rent a movie. So to all the fighters in the world, this is coming from a genuine fan of the sport and someone that has the utmost respect for what you do and the endless dedication you devote to it - if you actually hate your opponent and wish to express that, by all means go right ahead, but if there truthfully isn't any "bad blood", please do not fabricate any….I assure you, I will be watching regardless.

I am not Hans Zimmer

With all the confusion going around regarding the use of my song "Mind Heist" in the 3rd Inception trailer, I figured it might be helpful to clarify things.

I am not Hans Zimmer. This is what Hans Zimmer looks like:

This is what I look like hiking through the woods during winter:

As you can see, we are not the same person. But the differences don't end there…

Hans Zimmer has composed scores for movies such as Dark Knight, Crimson Tide, and Inception.

Zack Hemsey has composed the scores for the following movies:___________________

At the same time, one can't deny that there are definitely some peculiarities regarding the connection between Zack Hemsey and Hans Zimmer.

Both of their first names have 4 letters. Both of their last names have 6 letters. Both of their initials consist of the the letters H and Z.

The exceptional designer Omead Afshari put this video together:

Hmmmm……maybe I am Hans Zimmer.

The Giggle Revolution

There seems to be an awful lot of laughing taking place nowadays…..you can't go two sentences without someone replying with an "lol" in a text message or iChat. Then there's always the "lmao" and the really intense "LMFAO". Every time I see that, I think to myself that I must be some comedian to have gotten that response out of Cindy - she's usually such a soul-less sub-human.

I'm still trying to figure out what is so funny about the statement, "well you never know, maybe you did better than you think" - am I missing something here? Or how about this exchange: "Hey, I hear it might rain on Saturday…guess we'll have to reschedule" / "I know, that sucks….oh well, lol". Are you nervous or something? What the fuck are you laughing at?

Have you ever told someone you thought their tire might be flat, and they responded with "lol…are you serious"? And you're sitting there asking yourself, is this asshole being condescending with me….what, I don't know enough about automobiles to discern a flat? And so you reply with, "no, I was just messing with you…it's all good….lol…let me know how the skiing trip goes…see you when you get back".

Not to mention that "lol" is blatantly self-evident….you mean you're laughing out loud? Like, generating actual sound waves with your laughter? Holy shit Bob, that's some pretty serious laughter right there, maybe you should take it easy…you don't want your diabetes acting up. Is there an inward non-sound-wave-generating laughing technique that I simply have yet to be initiated in?

And while we're on the subject, why is it always laughter? What about a giggle? It only seems to be either full on laughter, or complete seriousness, apparently. Are people so bipolar that they never just giggle anymore? Well I giggle….and frankly it takes a lot for me to break out into laughter. Unless your parrot escaped from it's cage and took a shit on your iPod, a giggle is probably the best you can hope for from me.

But of course, how does one convey a giggle? Perhaps I should come up with a hip way to communicate this - "gol" is pretty lame (and equally self-evident) and "gig" is just a little too creepy for my taste. On second thought, why should a word or phrase require a cool concise abbreviation? Are we really this lazy that we can't afford the time it takes to write "talk to you later"? Oh but I know, you're so busy - there's just not enough time to write out everything and still get done all the things that require your attention on this complicated day. Well guess what, you're not that fucking busy and you're not that important either.

Let it be known that I will not uphold the impatience or the spelling of a 2nd grade student….if I'm giggling, I'm going to write "giggling", and if it's an intense giggle, expect to see "uncontrollable giggling taking place right now" - and if you're really lucky, maybe even "giggling my motherfucking ass off and still giggling…..lol"